Jerry Springer: Kakuzu and Hidan
by SaharaDesmail
Summary: Just watched the show one night and thought of how funy it would be for the Akatsuki to be on it. If someone has sort of the same thing, sorry, have no idea. Anyway, rated M for Hidan's mouth and later issues.


One night, I just watched Jerry Springer, and a thought came to mind. What if Akatsuki appeared on this show? How funny would that be? I'd have them working out so many issues, with the audience as various Naruto characters. Forgive me if there are any unknown OOCness on my behalf. Rated M for Hidan's mouth and a couple other issues Akatsuki seem to have…

Anyway, enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does. Jerry Springer is a show by…well Jerry Springer, and is entirely his.**

Jerry Springer: Anime Convention

Episode 1

Akatsuki

Part One:_ He won't lend me any money!_

'Ladies and Gentlemen, today we have a very…lets say infamous group on the show. Akatsuki they name themselves. Red…moon, is it?'

'Dawn!' someone that sounded like Sakura yelled from the back.

'Thank you, dawn. On part one of our show, we have a couple who have…'

Jerry looked at his card, microphone near his mouth.

'Money problems? Lets bring out our first person, Hidan, everybody!'

There were a couple of shouts and cheers, and over all clapping as a tall man with silver hair combed back on his head, and half of his cloak open stomped onto the stage from the opening to the side. He sat down on a seat to the left as he raked his purple eyes over the audience in disgust.

Jerry, a bit fazed by this intimidating man, slowly chose his words.

'So, Hidan, you say your Akatsuki partner won't share or give you any of his money?'

'That's right! Stupid motherfucker won't even lend me couple bucks let alone a hundred from his fucking bank!'

'Okay, so how does he get this money?'

'He's a fucking bounty hunting bitch.'

'Right.'

'Last year, our fucking leader ordered us to '_strengthen'_ our partnerships and give each other shit, and you know what I fucking brought him?' Hidan questioned leaning forward on his chair.

'What?' Jerry said, almost bored.

'A fucking money counter, _with my own money_!'

'If you have your own money, why do you insist on him having to share his?' Jerry asked.

There were cheers from the audience as they clapped. Some even whistled.

'SHUT THE FUCK UP!' Hidan yelled, ending the ovation.

'That's not at all the point! I brought him a money counter, and he fucking brought me a comb!'

Hidan waved his fists as he yelled,

'A fucking comb I'm telling you, why the fuck would I need that?'

'Well, your hair an all…' Jerry Springer responded under his breath, but it was still audible.

There were a couple of whistles again.

'You trying to be funny, bitch?' Hidan asked dangerously, squinting at Jerry.

'Well, lets bring out our friends partner, Kakuzu everybody!'

There was some jeers, but a lot of clapping and whistling at a taller man, wearing the same cloak as Hidan, but some cloth covering his face, lumbered on to the stage. He looked at Hidan once and sat on the chair to the right, calmly facing Jerry and the audience.

'My money is my money.'

The audience clapped and whistled at Kakuzu's words. That definitely had to put an end to the white haired mans bitching.

'"My money is my money" my ass, bitch.' Hidan addressed his partner.

'People, people calm down please. Now, Kakuzu, it says here you have exactly $79,877,092,004 in your bank. Hidan, your partner here is a bit angry that you won't lend him some. Why is that?'

'Why the heck would I need to lend my own money that I had worked to get to some one who can earn money by himself?'

The audience clapped and cheered at Kakuzu, obviously supporting his words.

A person in the audience had raised their hands, and Jerry approached him, lending the mic.

'Hey Hidan, is there something wrong with you? Why don't get up off your ass and work?'

The audience whooped, and whistled, agreeing. Neji sat down.

'Why you motherfucking little twit, why don't you come over here? I'll fucking show you work!' The body guards charged in at the stampeding Hidan, and threw him back into his seat and yelled at him to calm down.

'Hidan, answer the question,' Jerry asked, walking the steps of the seated audience.

'I don't fucking need to work, when I have my billionaire partner here who has got shit load hanging round!'

'It almost sounds like your married now.'

The audience laughed at this, another load of wolf whistles.

'I don't fucking care for your bitching anymore Hidan, I'm not giving you anything!' Kakuzu said to his partner.

'It's not even that I want your fucking money dickhead! What the hell was up with comb you gave me last fucking time we had to give each other gifts?'

'Well, I didn't know you were going to give me a money counter did I? Its not my fault for thinking you didn't have any money.'

The audience clapped and cheered at Kakuzu for the umpteenth time. It was very much clear who had the upper hand here.

'Shut the fuck up! Anything was better than a fucking comb. ANYTHING!' Hidan yelled at his partner.

'Kakuzu, don't you think you could've gotten Hidan something a little better at least?' Jerry finally had some sympathy for the whiny man.

'Well, I didn't know what the hell to get him, he doesn't like anything.'

'Hair gel would've suited me just fine…' Hidan muttered under his breath, still audible with the microphone hooked onto his cloak.

'Then that's what I'll get you next time. There was no need to fucking waste our time on a national TV show. Do you know how much it _costs_ to do this?'

Hidan and Kakuzu were led out of the stage as Kakuzu ranted on about the price of the show, making way for the other two partners who were going to whine and rant on about _their_ problems.

'Well, there you have it. We've dealt with our first partners, but what about our second?'

Tune in after break to see where these two lead us next!'

That's my first chapter on Hidan and Kakuzu done. Tell me who you think the next set of partners should be and what they go on about!

Reviews are always welcome. I would love some improvement.


End file.
